Dear Stephen Woodworth (and the agreeing members of Parliament);
I sincerely hope that you will reconsider your desires to reopen the abortion debate in Canada. Doing so will not only infringe on the rights of your female citizens, specifically those who are pregnant or will become pregnant, it will pose a severe breach of privacy that many women deserve in this nation.
As much as I dislike bringing up this argument, it is important enough to state, and more valid than many moral claims made in favour of keeping the government out of the life and choices of a pregnant woman. Any man wishing to pass legislation that explicitly, morally and politically targets women is absurd. There is no male equivalent to abortion, nor will there likely ever be despite scientific breakthroughs. Until such a time, if there is one, men [in politics] should steer clear from any moral legislative lobbies that affect only women. It is unfair, and quite possibly false representation.
Should this bill be brought to the House of Parliament, I as a Canadian Citizen demand that it be put to the electorate to decide. Such legislation, which would affect the electorate (and possibly devastate a part of it), should be placed at the hands of the people it would affect; such is the purpose of Democracy.
This issue is sensitive enough to people; and it is absolutely unnecessary to pass a legislature on the issue, because it will not provide enough benefit to Canadian society as a whole. Canadian women are well aware of how to morally accomodate for any pregnancies they experience in their lifetime, and do not need outside pressure from a government that does not know them as people, nor likely ever will.
Please adhere to Prime Minister Harper's wishes, and leave the issue alone. It has not harmed society as a whole, nor has there been evidence published to illustrate that it has.
Sincerely,
Sabrina Belfast
Monday, February 6, 2012
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sod this, I'm fixing.
I am now officially determined to stop hating myself.
It's a long time coming, but to be honest, I'm not going to throw myself into that same pit of despair that the media, my social fears, and those mean bullies in primary school put me through day in and day out, just because I'm not a movie star.
Tim tells me I'm beautiful on a constant basis. Why can't I believe him? What is making his words just sound so incredibly weird that I can't process them as complete truth?
It's gotten better over the years with him, but I want it to get even more better. (Grammar, it fails me now.) I am determined to take my every little 'flaw' and turn it into something consciously, and unconsciously, part of my charming and wonderful self that other people see me as.
It's obviously made worse at the moment by Tim being in Germany. Much, much worse. But, what can I do about it other than continue waiting the 32 remaining days for him to come home? I'm determined to figure out how. So far, visiting people and playing tetris with the apartment has helped but when I do end up solitary and stationary again because of fatigue or whatever else, the thoughts come back. Not even My Little Pony helps with the distraction sometimes.
I hate my nose.
I want a flat stomach.
I think my eyes make me look old and tired.
Stretch marks riddle my legs.
My skin is prone to random (thankfully small) breakouts.
...And it's amazing, that's all I can think of right now. In terms of the good stuff:
Tim comes home on August 17th. Just JUUUST over a month left.
I have two adorable little hamsters, one of which is an immigrant.
The apartment is starting to look clean, and I have a system for getting rid of the remaining bins and bits and bobs that I can't figure out what to do with until August 17th.
My bff Tammie lets me raid her house on a regular basis just for shits and giggles.
I'm sure there's a bunch of other stuff too.
In any event, I want this to be a testament to my determination to stop hating myself, and if I get bad, just throw this blog entry back at my face and shove the positive reinforcement down my head. I'mma need help still :)
Peace, Love and MarioKart
~Dexie
It's a long time coming, but to be honest, I'm not going to throw myself into that same pit of despair that the media, my social fears, and those mean bullies in primary school put me through day in and day out, just because I'm not a movie star.
Tim tells me I'm beautiful on a constant basis. Why can't I believe him? What is making his words just sound so incredibly weird that I can't process them as complete truth?
It's gotten better over the years with him, but I want it to get even more better. (Grammar, it fails me now.) I am determined to take my every little 'flaw' and turn it into something consciously, and unconsciously, part of my charming and wonderful self that other people see me as.
It's obviously made worse at the moment by Tim being in Germany. Much, much worse. But, what can I do about it other than continue waiting the 32 remaining days for him to come home? I'm determined to figure out how. So far, visiting people and playing tetris with the apartment has helped but when I do end up solitary and stationary again because of fatigue or whatever else, the thoughts come back. Not even My Little Pony helps with the distraction sometimes.
I hate my nose.
I want a flat stomach.
I think my eyes make me look old and tired.
Stretch marks riddle my legs.
My skin is prone to random (thankfully small) breakouts.
...And it's amazing, that's all I can think of right now. In terms of the good stuff:
Tim comes home on August 17th. Just JUUUST over a month left.
I have two adorable little hamsters, one of which is an immigrant.
The apartment is starting to look clean, and I have a system for getting rid of the remaining bins and bits and bobs that I can't figure out what to do with until August 17th.
My bff Tammie lets me raid her house on a regular basis just for shits and giggles.
I'm sure there's a bunch of other stuff too.
In any event, I want this to be a testament to my determination to stop hating myself, and if I get bad, just throw this blog entry back at my face and shove the positive reinforcement down my head. I'mma need help still :)
Peace, Love and MarioKart
~Dexie
Monday, May 30, 2011
Boredom, and Insomnia
So, I can't sleep. What do I do when I can't sleep? I blog! Durh.
I'm putting together a BUNCH of projects, and I might as well share them a bit. Or at least, remind myself of them so that I stop forgetting.
First and foremost, I have a determined goal to be an independently published author by New Year's. Project is going well, got some good stuff going for me, just need to flesh out the ideas. Might do that later tonight.
In the meantime, I am throwing a performance art project together, in an attempt to help independently boost the self-esteem of girls who don't look Barbie beautiful. Just gotta...well, put shit together lol.
Back in a bit, the hamster apparently needs attention.
Peace, Love and MarioKart.
~Dexie
I'm putting together a BUNCH of projects, and I might as well share them a bit. Or at least, remind myself of them so that I stop forgetting.
First and foremost, I have a determined goal to be an independently published author by New Year's. Project is going well, got some good stuff going for me, just need to flesh out the ideas. Might do that later tonight.
In the meantime, I am throwing a performance art project together, in an attempt to help independently boost the self-esteem of girls who don't look Barbie beautiful. Just gotta...well, put shit together lol.
Back in a bit, the hamster apparently needs attention.
Peace, Love and MarioKart.
~Dexie
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
An Angry Letter to Elections Canada
To whom it may concern, regarding the last election on May 2nd.
I am writing this letter to you, and to the country at large, to voice my disappointment at not being able to cast my ballot in the federal election that just passed, despite my efforts to do so.
I am currently studying abroad in the United Kingdom, and when I heard from home about the federal election to be held in May, I specifically requested information on how I could still take part in the voting process, even though I'm not at home.
After receiving said information, I set out to complete the application process and follow all deadlines accordingly; I sent out my application, as well as photocopies of the required documents, on the 10th of April, 2011, 16 days before the deadline of April 26th. I sent the parcel via First Class Royal Mail, ensuring it would be delivered to your offices at high speed.
I have more than enough reason to believe that if there was a problem on the side of the Royal Mail, my parcel would have returned to my flat with some kind of indication as to why.
As such, I had checked my post every possible day afterward, to find the voting kit I had sent for, or even a letter telling me that I wasn't able to vote for whatever reason. I found nothing. I had taken steps to provide more than enough time to receive my ballot and send it back, and I received nothing.
I feel let down. I am deeply interested in being a contributing member of Canadian society, no matter where in the world I am. It doesn't matter to me that my vote may or may not have made a difference to the election's results. What matters to me is the fact that as a young [and abroad] voter, which is very rare in the current state of things, I feel either disregarded or not taken seriously.
What I do not understand is why voting ballots, especially those sent overseas, are not taken care of with first class post or another high-priority equivalent. The post system takes a long time, and because there was no way to vote online (which would have been much faster), these things probably should have been considered when setting deadlines.
Next time an election is held, I sincerely hope that those who request a ballot from outside of Canada do receive one. And if they do not, I hope they voice this fact.
Sincerely,
Sabrina Elizabeth Belfast.
I am writing this letter to you, and to the country at large, to voice my disappointment at not being able to cast my ballot in the federal election that just passed, despite my efforts to do so.
I am currently studying abroad in the United Kingdom, and when I heard from home about the federal election to be held in May, I specifically requested information on how I could still take part in the voting process, even though I'm not at home.
After receiving said information, I set out to complete the application process and follow all deadlines accordingly; I sent out my application, as well as photocopies of the required documents, on the 10th of April, 2011, 16 days before the deadline of April 26th. I sent the parcel via First Class Royal Mail, ensuring it would be delivered to your offices at high speed.
I have more than enough reason to believe that if there was a problem on the side of the Royal Mail, my parcel would have returned to my flat with some kind of indication as to why.
As such, I had checked my post every possible day afterward, to find the voting kit I had sent for, or even a letter telling me that I wasn't able to vote for whatever reason. I found nothing. I had taken steps to provide more than enough time to receive my ballot and send it back, and I received nothing.
I feel let down. I am deeply interested in being a contributing member of Canadian society, no matter where in the world I am. It doesn't matter to me that my vote may or may not have made a difference to the election's results. What matters to me is the fact that as a young [and abroad] voter, which is very rare in the current state of things, I feel either disregarded or not taken seriously.
What I do not understand is why voting ballots, especially those sent overseas, are not taken care of with first class post or another high-priority equivalent. The post system takes a long time, and because there was no way to vote online (which would have been much faster), these things probably should have been considered when setting deadlines.
Next time an election is held, I sincerely hope that those who request a ballot from outside of Canada do receive one. And if they do not, I hope they voice this fact.
Sincerely,
Sabrina Elizabeth Belfast.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
On the PSN Shutdown, April 2011
So where I work, I've been seeing a lot of complaints, requests, and curiosity about:
What happened to the PlayStation Network
Who compromised it
When it's coming back
And, my absolute favourite:
What will they get for this COLLOSSAL inconvenience.
I work for Ask.com, as a community moderator in their open beta community project. If you're not sure about what it is, you can find it here. It's a wonderful little place, and I absolutely adore being there.
However, the thing that has been pissing me off super royally is the fact that people are (very loudly) running around the website saying 'I'm so sick of this, why can't they just fix the damn problem?' or 'What are we going to get for this?'
There are two inherent problems with these statements:
1 - They're making the faulty assumption that because the internet can be fast, that people who provide services here should be faster.
2 - That when they finally fix the problem, they deserve something for their lack-of-access troubles.
Here's a thought, you sillies; Instead of demanding a rush patch, where there are more holes in the service than there were before the problem happened, exercise this little known thing called patience and wait for the workers at Sony to a) fix the problem at hand, so your IDENTITY is safe from these people until they get more adventurous, and b) make the system better so that it won't happen for a long, long time.
You should not be concerned over whether or not you can access the network and buy games. If you gave a shit about your security, you'd be cancelling or requesting new credit cards, changing your e-mail passwords, and checking your mail for any fraudulent attempts at getting your identity from you.
LIKE SONY HAS SAID IN THEIR PRESS RELEASE:
Lookie, the one posted in this article RIGHT HERE.
You should also have found one from them, sent straight to you, in your e-mail inbox.
They both say the same thing:
They're working on fixing the problem.
They're concerned more about you protecting yourself than letting you play games.
They don't want this to happen again.
So please, please please please, shut the fuck up and wait a while. Rome was not built in a day, and your precious internet gaming will be back, hopefully better than ever.
Peace, Love, MarioKart.
~Dexie
What happened to the PlayStation Network
Who compromised it
When it's coming back
And, my absolute favourite:
What will they get for this COLLOSSAL inconvenience.
I work for Ask.com, as a community moderator in their open beta community project. If you're not sure about what it is, you can find it here. It's a wonderful little place, and I absolutely adore being there.
However, the thing that has been pissing me off super royally is the fact that people are (very loudly) running around the website saying 'I'm so sick of this, why can't they just fix the damn problem?' or 'What are we going to get for this?'
There are two inherent problems with these statements:
1 - They're making the faulty assumption that because the internet can be fast, that people who provide services here should be faster.
2 - That when they finally fix the problem, they deserve something for their lack-of-access troubles.
Here's a thought, you sillies; Instead of demanding a rush patch, where there are more holes in the service than there were before the problem happened, exercise this little known thing called patience and wait for the workers at Sony to a) fix the problem at hand, so your IDENTITY is safe from these people until they get more adventurous, and b) make the system better so that it won't happen for a long, long time.
You should not be concerned over whether or not you can access the network and buy games. If you gave a shit about your security, you'd be cancelling or requesting new credit cards, changing your e-mail passwords, and checking your mail for any fraudulent attempts at getting your identity from you.
LIKE SONY HAS SAID IN THEIR PRESS RELEASE:
Lookie, the one posted in this article RIGHT HERE.
You should also have found one from them, sent straight to you, in your e-mail inbox.
They both say the same thing:
They're working on fixing the problem.
They're concerned more about you protecting yourself than letting you play games.
They don't want this to happen again.
So please, please please please, shut the fuck up and wait a while. Rome was not built in a day, and your precious internet gaming will be back, hopefully better than ever.
Peace, Love, MarioKart.
~Dexie
Friday, August 13, 2010
Inspiration comes from odd places
Y'know, I think I'm going to update this thing a bit more often. I don't know why, but for some reason reading another person's blog post (or lately, following people on Twitter) has been leading to me having much more inspiration to actually reach out on the webernets.
I feel like I've become a member of a bigger community.
Thank you, Fabulous Lorraine :3
I feel like I've become a member of a bigger community.
Thank you, Fabulous Lorraine :3
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Boredom and the Internet = This
Stranger: suck my footlon
Stranger: footlong
You: Sorry, your vocabulary's too short.
Stranger: you should be nicer im a cop and im tracking this
You: What does me saying you have a terrible vocabulary have to do with you possibly being a police officer?
Stranger: i can put you in jail ill let you off this time but next time im just saying
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
***
Stranger: hi, are you female with skype ?
You: Why yes, I am.
Why?
Stranger: bad connection
Stranger: you can add me
You: Your connection seems fine right now.
You: Skype won't make it any better.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
More to come later.
Stranger: footlong
You: Sorry, your vocabulary's too short.
Stranger: you should be nicer im a cop and im tracking this
You: What does me saying you have a terrible vocabulary have to do with you possibly being a police officer?
Stranger: i can put you in jail ill let you off this time but next time im just saying
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
***
Stranger: hi, are you female with skype ?
You: Why yes, I am.
Why?
Stranger: bad connection
Stranger: you can add me
You: Your connection seems fine right now.
You: Skype won't make it any better.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
More to come later.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Passive Income, Shitty Economy, Student Life...
This summer, more than any other summer, is going to be the busiest of my life. And I can honestly say that despite the speedbumps, I do look forward to it.
However, in preparation, I'm under pressure to make a lot of extra funds. I don't necessarily need them, but my family is doing that thing they do ever so well, and that's harping on me. Every day.
But that's not the topic of today's entry. Lately, the economy of the Great Lakes region has been craptastic, and it's remained so for a while. Unfortunately, this means that the job bank for my region only holds maybe a dozen jobs at most, and those go fast. I've heard stories of friends applying for over 100 jobs, and not getting a single phone call.
With the way my summer's going to be, with paperwork, medical visits, office visits and theatrical gigs, there is no point in me getting a job. But I'm not going to be lazy. I've resorted to various methods of passive income, one of them including trading website currency for USD, and small art commissions both on and offline of a website I volunteer for (love working for you, Den. lovelovelovelove it.)
The last of these, despite the doubts I had before, is paid to click advertising and promotional stuff.
In the interest of helping to fund my upcoming exchange to England, I'm going to actually post my referral banners here. Yes, every single website here is a pyramid scheme. However, you do not need to have 3503826205836427216109847 bajillion people sign up as your referees in order for their systems to work. I merely am interested in promoting the places I've learned to trust, and possibly help those of you who also have a crappy jobhunt make a little more cash over the summer.
Every site listed below uses PayPal as a cashout method, so no banking information gets collected from these sites. Be warned, it is not instantaneous. Some payments can take a day or two to process, and longer to accrue. But that shouldn't deter you. If you play the system right, (and I'll be writing about that in my next post ;D), you can make a fair bit in a short time. Anyway, on to the links. Below each one is going to be a brief summary of my favourite features and how their systems work.
Wordlinx - My personal favourite. Free to sign up, and you earn $0.005 or $0.01 per ad click. To get credit, just click the link that says 'remove frame' after the timer's up. There's usually about 8-10 ads per day, so it's not that bad. The minimum payout is $10, but there are bonuses around $3, $6, and $9 that help bring you to the limit quicker. Obviously, the more referrals you have the better, but it's not that hard to make a dollar or two within two to three weeks. Ad time ranges from 15-30 seconds, but I've seen less.
Incentria - Another close favourite. Cashout is at $2, and in order to redeem the credit for an ad, you click on upside down pictures. Minimum timing on the ads is 10 seconds (really not that bad) and then you move on to the next one. Credit ranges from $0.0001 up to about $0.001. Traffic exchanges are also available, and you can use the credit gained from those to promote your referral page and gain signups, or promote your own website into getting views. Another thing; for those of you who get a lot of traffic to begin with, you get $0.0001 for just having someone click on your referral link. You don't have to do anything.
Clicksia - Functions the exact same way as Incentria, so all the instructions above apply. Same values for everything.
PTC50 - A nice little pay-to-click site, providing ads to view, offers to sign up for credit, and traffic exchanging. Minimum cashout is $0.50, and referrals come in handy. They currently have an awesome deal going on where you can buy a guaranteed signup, 2 downline referrals, 500 paid-to-click credits, 500 traffic exchange credits, and 10,000 banner credits for $1 USD. Well worth it, I've bought 6 of them so far. Redemming credit for an ad involves clicking the right number, similar to Incentria and Clicksia. Ad time ranges from 10-30 seconds.
Clickite - Really good, especially with the low cashout value at $0.02. Beware, however, there is a fee for withdrawing. So while cashing out every 2 cents looks like a good idea, a little patience will pay reeeeeally well in the end. There's usually 30-40 ads to click per day, anywhere between $0.0001 and $0.0005 in value. That ads up if you keep up every day. Ad time ranges from 10-30 seconds.
MatrixMails - The banners were annoying, so I decided to not post them in order to save your eyes. You're welcome!
Earn anywhere between $0.005 and $0.01 per ad visited, and there's a timer with a flashing button at the top frame you click to get credit. You can also sign up through them for paid e-mails, which give you between $0.01 and $0.04, as well as sign up offers worth more. E-mail links automatically credit your account after the timer's up, so wait like, a minute while checking other e-mail or reading TFLN and then just close the frame. It's sweet. Ad time is 30 seconds.
PTC Wallet - Shown to me by a friend of mine, and I've gotta say, I like it. $0.10 per click, and a minimum cashout of $100. Takes a while (I've only ever been able to click 7 ads per day), but think of the happy you'll experience when you get that deposit in your PayPal account. Referrals obviously come in handy for this site as well. Ad time is 10 seconds.
Cashium - currently in pre-launch, so no earnings are gained, but if you sign up as a Discoverer you get $0.008 per click and then a certain amount of referral earnings. Cute little place, and there's a forum community right there to help you if you have problems. Viewing ads requires sliding an orange block into a green section of a line. Then the ad gets viewed, and voila! credit. Ad time is about 30 seconds.
That's pretty much it for what I have, so I hope you'll at least check them out, and if you're interested in a small little art commission once I get my Bamboo tablet just pop me a message somehow and we'll talk. ;D
Peace, Love and MarioKart
~Dexie
However, in preparation, I'm under pressure to make a lot of extra funds. I don't necessarily need them, but my family is doing that thing they do ever so well, and that's harping on me. Every day.
But that's not the topic of today's entry. Lately, the economy of the Great Lakes region has been craptastic, and it's remained so for a while. Unfortunately, this means that the job bank for my region only holds maybe a dozen jobs at most, and those go fast. I've heard stories of friends applying for over 100 jobs, and not getting a single phone call.
With the way my summer's going to be, with paperwork, medical visits, office visits and theatrical gigs, there is no point in me getting a job. But I'm not going to be lazy. I've resorted to various methods of passive income, one of them including trading website currency for USD, and small art commissions both on and offline of a website I volunteer for (love working for you, Den. lovelovelovelove it.)
The last of these, despite the doubts I had before, is paid to click advertising and promotional stuff.
In the interest of helping to fund my upcoming exchange to England, I'm going to actually post my referral banners here. Yes, every single website here is a pyramid scheme. However, you do not need to have 3503826205836427216109847 bajillion people sign up as your referees in order for their systems to work. I merely am interested in promoting the places I've learned to trust, and possibly help those of you who also have a crappy jobhunt make a little more cash over the summer.
Every site listed below uses PayPal as a cashout method, so no banking information gets collected from these sites. Be warned, it is not instantaneous. Some payments can take a day or two to process, and longer to accrue. But that shouldn't deter you. If you play the system right, (and I'll be writing about that in my next post ;D), you can make a fair bit in a short time. Anyway, on to the links. Below each one is going to be a brief summary of my favourite features and how their systems work.
Wordlinx - My personal favourite. Free to sign up, and you earn $0.005 or $0.01 per ad click. To get credit, just click the link that says 'remove frame' after the timer's up. There's usually about 8-10 ads per day, so it's not that bad. The minimum payout is $10, but there are bonuses around $3, $6, and $9 that help bring you to the limit quicker. Obviously, the more referrals you have the better, but it's not that hard to make a dollar or two within two to three weeks. Ad time ranges from 15-30 seconds, but I've seen less.
Incentria - Another close favourite. Cashout is at $2, and in order to redeem the credit for an ad, you click on upside down pictures. Minimum timing on the ads is 10 seconds (really not that bad) and then you move on to the next one. Credit ranges from $0.0001 up to about $0.001. Traffic exchanges are also available, and you can use the credit gained from those to promote your referral page and gain signups, or promote your own website into getting views. Another thing; for those of you who get a lot of traffic to begin with, you get $0.0001 for just having someone click on your referral link. You don't have to do anything.
Clicksia - Functions the exact same way as Incentria, so all the instructions above apply. Same values for everything.
PTC50 - A nice little pay-to-click site, providing ads to view, offers to sign up for credit, and traffic exchanging. Minimum cashout is $0.50, and referrals come in handy. They currently have an awesome deal going on where you can buy a guaranteed signup, 2 downline referrals, 500 paid-to-click credits, 500 traffic exchange credits, and 10,000 banner credits for $1 USD. Well worth it, I've bought 6 of them so far. Redemming credit for an ad involves clicking the right number, similar to Incentria and Clicksia. Ad time ranges from 10-30 seconds.
Clickite - Really good, especially with the low cashout value at $0.02. Beware, however, there is a fee for withdrawing. So while cashing out every 2 cents looks like a good idea, a little patience will pay reeeeeally well in the end. There's usually 30-40 ads to click per day, anywhere between $0.0001 and $0.0005 in value. That ads up if you keep up every day. Ad time ranges from 10-30 seconds.
MatrixMails - The banners were annoying, so I decided to not post them in order to save your eyes. You're welcome!
Earn anywhere between $0.005 and $0.01 per ad visited, and there's a timer with a flashing button at the top frame you click to get credit. You can also sign up through them for paid e-mails, which give you between $0.01 and $0.04, as well as sign up offers worth more. E-mail links automatically credit your account after the timer's up, so wait like, a minute while checking other e-mail or reading TFLN and then just close the frame. It's sweet. Ad time is 30 seconds.
PTC Wallet - Shown to me by a friend of mine, and I've gotta say, I like it. $0.10 per click, and a minimum cashout of $100. Takes a while (I've only ever been able to click 7 ads per day), but think of the happy you'll experience when you get that deposit in your PayPal account. Referrals obviously come in handy for this site as well. Ad time is 10 seconds.
Cashium - currently in pre-launch, so no earnings are gained, but if you sign up as a Discoverer you get $0.008 per click and then a certain amount of referral earnings. Cute little place, and there's a forum community right there to help you if you have problems. Viewing ads requires sliding an orange block into a green section of a line. Then the ad gets viewed, and voila! credit. Ad time is about 30 seconds.
That's pretty much it for what I have, so I hope you'll at least check them out, and if you're interested in a small little art commission once I get my Bamboo tablet just pop me a message somehow and we'll talk. ;D
Peace, Love and MarioKart
~Dexie
Friday, April 2, 2010
Bwahahahaha.
I'm everywhere lately, it would seem.
~Dexie
And now, I can be found on Google.
Just search the words "Poindextra" and "Honesty".
I dare you.
Anyway, it's been a while, I'm sorry. Stuff is happening, and things....I'M GOING TO ENGLAND OMG YAY.
Beyond that, um....I'm also now a part of The Infection, and apparently they like me. So woot. I plan on posting there sometime soon, if they allow me the honour to do so.
I plan on getting my dA back up and running.
Website's going quite well for just over a month old, go my little baby. < 3
Basically, I'm on my way to becoming famous.
AND IT FEELS GREAT.
kilubai
~Dexie
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sigh
Don't you hate it when your gaming experience is ruined by people not shutting the fuck up while you're trying very hard to finish the game?
I do.
13 years after its release, I finally beat Final Fantasy VII after playing it for the first time ever (well second, if you consider the brief amount of time I spent playing it on my friend's PS2 before I got my own copy for the PSP, but the amount of plot I saw was negligible at best). But during almost the entire final cut scene, people decided it'd be cool to talk about trivia and tidbits while I'm trying to enjoy the music and immerse myself in that world.
And I love doing that. I love throwing myself completely into another world while the events of the cinema scenes unfold. It's amazing to me. And free.
But if people are talking, then I can't fully immerse myself because part of the reality I have to live in is still present. And it sucks.
I just wanted to say that. I think I'm going to finish games solo from now on, just to avoid bitching at people.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
I do.
13 years after its release, I finally beat Final Fantasy VII after playing it for the first time ever (well second, if you consider the brief amount of time I spent playing it on my friend's PS2 before I got my own copy for the PSP, but the amount of plot I saw was negligible at best). But during almost the entire final cut scene, people decided it'd be cool to talk about trivia and tidbits while I'm trying to enjoy the music and immerse myself in that world.
And I love doing that. I love throwing myself completely into another world while the events of the cinema scenes unfold. It's amazing to me. And free.
But if people are talking, then I can't fully immerse myself because part of the reality I have to live in is still present. And it sucks.
I just wanted to say that. I think I'm going to finish games solo from now on, just to avoid bitching at people.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Femi-what?
Women in the current Western society are stupid.
No, really. They still bitch about women not having enough rights. Rights to do this, rights to do that. I don't think there's any more rights we can have without beginning to marginalise men more than they already are.
Don't get your panties in a bunch, bitches. I'm not saying YOU have to go back to being a subservient housewife who makes the bacon your man brings home. But if I want to do that, which I do, you better not dare get your knickers and underwire in a knot over it.
Feminism in the beginning was brilliant. We want to vote. We want to make decisions about our homes, and our children. We want the same pay, and the same job opportunities. See, those are ideals I can get behind. But that does not make me a feminist. Today, you see women going "OH MY GOD I HAVE TO DO SO MUCH SHIT TO LOOK PRETTY FOR MEN FUCKMYLIFE".
No, you don't.
You WANT to do so much shit to look pretty for the men in your life, but you're bitching because it's a lot of effort, expensive, and will wind you up in no better shape than you were before. If an employer doesn't hire you because you look like a slob, then it's not lawsuit-worthy. If a guy tells you you're not pretty enough, dump his ass and go back on the market for a lover. Don't bitch and complain that the media tells you you SHOULD behave/look/dress a certain way.
And before you even say the words 'Domestic Violence', let it be known that men have it so much worse. If a guy is being beat up by his abusive, adulterous wife, he's the one that gets in shit. If he gets a divorce from said abusive, adulterous wife, he also gets in shit. Because the women in this society will tell him that no matter what, he deserved it. And the judicial system is moving that way too. It's sad.
Men today have a ridiculous double standard thrown at them. If they're not having sex with every woman they meet, they're not manly enough. If they decide they want to save themselves, they're inexperienced and juvenile. Fuck that shit, I'd rather have my fiance tell me that I'm the only one he's with and cares about than know that he's fucking around. If women have to be so fucking pure and innocent, why do men have to be the exact damn opposite?
On behalf of my gender, guys, I'm sorry. We fucked up. I'll admit that so that the broomstick bitches in this world don't have to.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
No, really. They still bitch about women not having enough rights. Rights to do this, rights to do that. I don't think there's any more rights we can have without beginning to marginalise men more than they already are.
Don't get your panties in a bunch, bitches. I'm not saying YOU have to go back to being a subservient housewife who makes the bacon your man brings home. But if I want to do that, which I do, you better not dare get your knickers and underwire in a knot over it.
Feminism in the beginning was brilliant. We want to vote. We want to make decisions about our homes, and our children. We want the same pay, and the same job opportunities. See, those are ideals I can get behind. But that does not make me a feminist. Today, you see women going "OH MY GOD I HAVE TO DO SO MUCH SHIT TO LOOK PRETTY FOR MEN FUCKMYLIFE".
No, you don't.
You WANT to do so much shit to look pretty for the men in your life, but you're bitching because it's a lot of effort, expensive, and will wind you up in no better shape than you were before. If an employer doesn't hire you because you look like a slob, then it's not lawsuit-worthy. If a guy tells you you're not pretty enough, dump his ass and go back on the market for a lover. Don't bitch and complain that the media tells you you SHOULD behave/look/dress a certain way.
And before you even say the words 'Domestic Violence', let it be known that men have it so much worse. If a guy is being beat up by his abusive, adulterous wife, he's the one that gets in shit. If he gets a divorce from said abusive, adulterous wife, he also gets in shit. Because the women in this society will tell him that no matter what, he deserved it. And the judicial system is moving that way too. It's sad.
Men today have a ridiculous double standard thrown at them. If they're not having sex with every woman they meet, they're not manly enough. If they decide they want to save themselves, they're inexperienced and juvenile. Fuck that shit, I'd rather have my fiance tell me that I'm the only one he's with and cares about than know that he's fucking around. If women have to be so fucking pure and innocent, why do men have to be the exact damn opposite?
On behalf of my gender, guys, I'm sorry. We fucked up. I'll admit that so that the broomstick bitches in this world don't have to.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sleeeeepyyyy~
Hee, Blogger kept me signed in. YAY.
So it's 4 am, and I'm still awake with a laptop on my legs. So what do I do? I write in my blog!
For some reason this kind of thing is entertaining to me. I sometimes get fun little ideas and think to myself "I want to write in my blog!"
But then by the time I get here I forget about it. I'm cool like that.
It's not even so much that I want internet popularity (I already have that from volunteer work on a massive message board), or want my views to be seen by EVERYONE EVERYWHERE (it's too much of a hassle and requires more extroversion than I know exists), I just like babbling somewhere.
But keeping diaries in OpenOffice isn't quite the same thing.
So I do this. And my random thoughts and babblings wind up in Google's cache for all to see. Yayyyyy~
It's not like I say anything incriminating. I'm not a closed book, and if anything I'm as close to a nun as a person could be without being catholic...Catholic? Am I supposed to capitalise the C?
Ooh, San Antonio's on TV. I went there :3
Yes, this is what my brain does when I'm tired. Shush.
What the crap is that bicycle/hang-glider/parasail lookin' thing? TV's showing me weird things again.
Oh, who here LOVED the opening ceremony of the Olympics? I did. Silly cauldron not deploying properly. Otherwise, that was some fantastic scenery.
The fish live. There are still five of them. I should change the water tomorrow.
....Today.
I think I'm done for now.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart.
~Dexie
So it's 4 am, and I'm still awake with a laptop on my legs. So what do I do? I write in my blog!
For some reason this kind of thing is entertaining to me. I sometimes get fun little ideas and think to myself "I want to write in my blog!"
But then by the time I get here I forget about it. I'm cool like that.
It's not even so much that I want internet popularity (I already have that from volunteer work on a massive message board), or want my views to be seen by EVERYONE EVERYWHERE (it's too much of a hassle and requires more extroversion than I know exists), I just like babbling somewhere.
But keeping diaries in OpenOffice isn't quite the same thing.
So I do this. And my random thoughts and babblings wind up in Google's cache for all to see. Yayyyyy~
It's not like I say anything incriminating. I'm not a closed book, and if anything I'm as close to a nun as a person could be without being catholic...Catholic? Am I supposed to capitalise the C?
Ooh, San Antonio's on TV. I went there :3
Yes, this is what my brain does when I'm tired. Shush.
What the crap is that bicycle/hang-glider/parasail lookin' thing? TV's showing me weird things again.
Oh, who here LOVED the opening ceremony of the Olympics? I did. Silly cauldron not deploying properly. Otherwise, that was some fantastic scenery.
The fish live. There are still five of them. I should change the water tomorrow.
....Today.
I think I'm done for now.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart.
~Dexie
Monday, February 8, 2010
Just Let Me Have This One.
I'm warning you now, this is going to be emo.
I feel like I'm slowly spiralling back into my own head, and falling face first into a pit of mortality. Everytime I think about someone I love or care about, one of the next immediate things in my mind is the sight of them dying. Or just the thought of them dying.
I miss my mom.
I miss my cat.
I miss my grandfather.
I have thought, and deeply considered quite a few times, just ending my life. It's so tempting. Having these nightmares and visions in my head, the blackouts, the lack of focus....I just want to leave this place.
I feel empty. Like I'm just floating on a sea of air. Dark air. I feel guilty all the time. For everything. For breathing, taking up space. Eating food. Wearing clothing.
Something is keeping me here, and it's stronger than my willpower. Sometimes, I'm not sure if I should be grateful for that or not.
~Dexie
I feel like I'm slowly spiralling back into my own head, and falling face first into a pit of mortality. Everytime I think about someone I love or care about, one of the next immediate things in my mind is the sight of them dying. Or just the thought of them dying.
I miss my mom.
I miss my cat.
I miss my grandfather.
I have thought, and deeply considered quite a few times, just ending my life. It's so tempting. Having these nightmares and visions in my head, the blackouts, the lack of focus....I just want to leave this place.
I feel empty. Like I'm just floating on a sea of air. Dark air. I feel guilty all the time. For everything. For breathing, taking up space. Eating food. Wearing clothing.
Something is keeping me here, and it's stronger than my willpower. Sometimes, I'm not sure if I should be grateful for that or not.
~Dexie
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Stupidity in Public....and getting away with it
There is a FANTASTIC advantage to being a drama student.
My Nature of Theatre class raided the student centre commons, and all in one fell swoop we froze in place, doing our own thing. People reacted in so many different ways, between freaking out, laughing, throwing paper at the friends of theirs that were frozen in place, and poking the frozen kids.
It was an exercise like that that makes this programme so damn awesome, to me. Because yes, science is cool. In fact, I think it's badass. But it's not for everyone. And all of the science students that are my friends think that me doing what I'm doing is equally hard, because of the amount of reading, physical work, and intuitive thinking that needs to be done.
Also, so many darn papers.
But still, learning about Dramatic Art is a wicked cool thing, because it's almost like it's a part of the framework for life itself.
One of the nifty things that the exercise did was make people think about what was going on in their own lives, because suddenly as they're all moving here are these kids that are stopped right in the middle of the room.
I guess basically what I'm trying to say is that Dramatic Art is useful on more than just an entertainment level. It can also affect people psychologically, philosophically, and even physically. Think about it.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
My Nature of Theatre class raided the student centre commons, and all in one fell swoop we froze in place, doing our own thing. People reacted in so many different ways, between freaking out, laughing, throwing paper at the friends of theirs that were frozen in place, and poking the frozen kids.
It was an exercise like that that makes this programme so damn awesome, to me. Because yes, science is cool. In fact, I think it's badass. But it's not for everyone. And all of the science students that are my friends think that me doing what I'm doing is equally hard, because of the amount of reading, physical work, and intuitive thinking that needs to be done.
Also, so many darn papers.
But still, learning about Dramatic Art is a wicked cool thing, because it's almost like it's a part of the framework for life itself.
One of the nifty things that the exercise did was make people think about what was going on in their own lives, because suddenly as they're all moving here are these kids that are stopped right in the middle of the room.
I guess basically what I'm trying to say is that Dramatic Art is useful on more than just an entertainment level. It can also affect people psychologically, philosophically, and even physically. Think about it.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Returning to Productivity
I deleted my facebook account last night.
I decided that the site does me more harm than good, because I find myself spying on people that I haven't spoken to in years, just so I can find out what's been going on in their life.
That's just creepy. So I'm stopping myself.
Not only that, I realised that the damn site just causes more drama than I can handle in my life right now, so I'm quitting while I'm ahead so that I don't end up making my life worse.
Getting rid of my facebook account was the first step I decided to make in trying to make my life better, and sort of ease the pressure of social networking from me while I recover from things I need to recover from. That way, I can just quiet down, talk to the people who help me the most, and stop worrying about other people's feelings about me.
That, and if I want to get a job they can't invade that privacy, because it no longer exists.
Furthermore, I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at how desperately Facebook clings to people. When I went to deactivate my account, the website shot straight for my guilt complex and asked "Are you sure you want to leave? All your friends will miss you." And proceeded to list 4 or 5 people's names followed by "will miss you."
Then, there's a list of reasons why you're leaving facebook that you can choose from.
Each and every single one has a pitiful response in order to attempt to keep you here.
Fucking.hilarious.
Suffice it to say, I want to keep quiet and lay low for a while, and getting rid of 155 people's ability to spy on me is probably one of the best steps to take first.
Power to anyone else who gives up that ghost with me.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
I decided that the site does me more harm than good, because I find myself spying on people that I haven't spoken to in years, just so I can find out what's been going on in their life.
That's just creepy. So I'm stopping myself.
Not only that, I realised that the damn site just causes more drama than I can handle in my life right now, so I'm quitting while I'm ahead so that I don't end up making my life worse.
Getting rid of my facebook account was the first step I decided to make in trying to make my life better, and sort of ease the pressure of social networking from me while I recover from things I need to recover from. That way, I can just quiet down, talk to the people who help me the most, and stop worrying about other people's feelings about me.
That, and if I want to get a job they can't invade that privacy, because it no longer exists.
Furthermore, I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at how desperately Facebook clings to people. When I went to deactivate my account, the website shot straight for my guilt complex and asked "Are you sure you want to leave? All your friends will miss you." And proceeded to list 4 or 5 people's names followed by "will miss you."
Then, there's a list of reasons why you're leaving facebook that you can choose from.
Each and every single one has a pitiful response in order to attempt to keep you here.
Fucking.hilarious.
Suffice it to say, I want to keep quiet and lay low for a while, and getting rid of 155 people's ability to spy on me is probably one of the best steps to take first.
Power to anyone else who gives up that ghost with me.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Dexie
Friday, November 27, 2009
Anonymity and Psychological Catastrophe
One of my best friends gets bombarded daily with e-mails containing photos of her biggest and most irrational phobia. All because of mysterygoogle.com.
Basically, someone who knows her, or some people who know her, thought it would be funny to post her e-mail address on mysterygoogle.com asking for pictures of puppets. Most people who respond to this "Mission" from Mystery Google think it's harmless fun, because they probably have no idea how much it hurts, scares, and harms her. The person who started the mission, however, was well aware; it's not like a phobia like hers is common to people.
So, I would love to know who the fuck did that.
Obviously, you know her. Obviously, you know what she goes through when the word 'puppet' is even said in conversation. By that notion, you also know a bit about her background, where she's come from, and what she's gone through.
Some kind of 'friend' you are.
Whoever you are, you don't have to see her curled up, shaking with fear as she tries desperately to get images out of her head and bring herself back to what society calls 'normal'. You don't have to be there, wondering if she's actually going to want to wake up the next morning, because she's so scared of seeing the images again at night. You're not the one that runs to her computer and deletes the messages in her inbox before she makes the mistake of opening them.
You're an inconsiderate asshole. Or if there's more of you, you're a compilation of inconsiderate assholes. And you're a stain on where we are, where she is, and where you come from. You think you're so fucking brave, hiding behind your mask of anonymity. Thinking that the Mysterious Mystery Google will protect you.
Just makes you a set of cowards and mindless drones the likes of which I haven't seen outside of *chan fora. So have fun, knowing that you've either started, or followed an order from someone you don't know, don't care about, and are destroying the happiness of someone who has her own life to deal with. Your catharsis should not be her pain.
Sleep with that under your pillow, kiddies.
~Dexie
Basically, someone who knows her, or some people who know her, thought it would be funny to post her e-mail address on mysterygoogle.com asking for pictures of puppets. Most people who respond to this "Mission" from Mystery Google think it's harmless fun, because they probably have no idea how much it hurts, scares, and harms her. The person who started the mission, however, was well aware; it's not like a phobia like hers is common to people.
So, I would love to know who the fuck did that.
Obviously, you know her. Obviously, you know what she goes through when the word 'puppet' is even said in conversation. By that notion, you also know a bit about her background, where she's come from, and what she's gone through.
Some kind of 'friend' you are.
Whoever you are, you don't have to see her curled up, shaking with fear as she tries desperately to get images out of her head and bring herself back to what society calls 'normal'. You don't have to be there, wondering if she's actually going to want to wake up the next morning, because she's so scared of seeing the images again at night. You're not the one that runs to her computer and deletes the messages in her inbox before she makes the mistake of opening them.
You're an inconsiderate asshole. Or if there's more of you, you're a compilation of inconsiderate assholes. And you're a stain on where we are, where she is, and where you come from. You think you're so fucking brave, hiding behind your mask of anonymity. Thinking that the Mysterious Mystery Google will protect you.
Just makes you a set of cowards and mindless drones the likes of which I haven't seen outside of *chan fora. So have fun, knowing that you've either started, or followed an order from someone you don't know, don't care about, and are destroying the happiness of someone who has her own life to deal with. Your catharsis should not be her pain.
Sleep with that under your pillow, kiddies.
~Dexie
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The Ethics of Academia
Being a full-time university student is ridiculously stressful. And that's on its own. Then there's the added familial pressure that some of us feel when we're expected to find a job so we can pay our own way through a system that costs more (in the immediate sense) than a whole year's worth of bills.
I tried working when I went back to school this September. I had about 14 hours a week at the gas station near my house. On top of that, I was also in a community theatre production. The theatre production had been made a commitment before the job. On top of that, because I'm studying theatre in school, it just makes more sense that I'd prioritise something coinciding with my education over a job that has little to no security, promotion ladder, or pay raise.
I do not regret at all telling my family that while I was in school, I could not, and would not, work. To the outsider, or infamous "other", studying drama in university is just a fluff and puff program for easy A's and a pretty certificate after four years.
Totally not true.
I just started the Drama and Communications program at my school. The classes, while they're easy for me, would definitely not be easy for anyone else in my family. It's a lot of physical work, mental work, and social interaction that depends on each of its parts to function completely. 5 classes is 15 hours a week of lecture. Add the daily readings, and assignments to do outside of class, you have an extra 30 or so hours to work on just your education alone.
That's a full-time job. Which will eventually get me another full-time job.
My professors have said that working more than 10 hours a week while in school at this rate is remarkable. And as far as I know, there are very very VERY few people who can do that.
I am one of the not-so-few. And I have to say, I'm really proud of myself.
Putting my education first is one of the first steps I've taken to ensuring that I can make the best of my learning, and pursue my graduate studies.
So to any other post-secondary students out there (college, university), if you're not working while you're in school, don't sweat it. If you stick through your education and get superstar grades, it means a hell of a lot more than a part-time job and all C's. Student loans are there for a reason.
~Dexie
I tried working when I went back to school this September. I had about 14 hours a week at the gas station near my house. On top of that, I was also in a community theatre production. The theatre production had been made a commitment before the job. On top of that, because I'm studying theatre in school, it just makes more sense that I'd prioritise something coinciding with my education over a job that has little to no security, promotion ladder, or pay raise.
I do not regret at all telling my family that while I was in school, I could not, and would not, work. To the outsider, or infamous "other", studying drama in university is just a fluff and puff program for easy A's and a pretty certificate after four years.
Totally not true.
I just started the Drama and Communications program at my school. The classes, while they're easy for me, would definitely not be easy for anyone else in my family. It's a lot of physical work, mental work, and social interaction that depends on each of its parts to function completely. 5 classes is 15 hours a week of lecture. Add the daily readings, and assignments to do outside of class, you have an extra 30 or so hours to work on just your education alone.
That's a full-time job. Which will eventually get me another full-time job.
My professors have said that working more than 10 hours a week while in school at this rate is remarkable. And as far as I know, there are very very VERY few people who can do that.
I am one of the not-so-few. And I have to say, I'm really proud of myself.
Putting my education first is one of the first steps I've taken to ensuring that I can make the best of my learning, and pursue my graduate studies.
So to any other post-secondary students out there (college, university), if you're not working while you're in school, don't sweat it. If you stick through your education and get superstar grades, it means a hell of a lot more than a part-time job and all C's. Student loans are there for a reason.
~Dexie
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Your Alternative News Source? Fuck that.
There's an underground buzz happening that says blogs are the new-and-improved, more accurate, less media-biased source for news in the new age.
Know what I think? It's bullshit.
Blogs can be about current events, sure. But allow me to point out the flaws in this system, that are just as pertinent as those pertaining to the media, yet largely overlooked.
Firstly, you've got the spectrum of crazy-hardcore-conservative to people who are so left wing they're coming back around to the right. Sure, they don't have the media bias per se, but they sure as hell have their own two cents about the issue, because if they didn't, it'd be pretty useless to talk about it.
Secondly, where did they first hear about this issue? Mr. Holmes, you've found a clue! If they have an opinion on the matter, and they weren't there first, they clearly got the idea from somewhere. Even this post is inspired by something I read somewhere else. That original source, which, for all intents and purposes, we will call a primary source, is the basis of the secondary blog post, meaning anything they gleaned from the accounts of a news reporter/journalist/scrapbook/photo album of the person who discovered this before.
Is it taking away from the news media? Nope. If anything, it's probably helping bolster news media events. If you consider that a blog entry can be a response to an article in a newspaper, for instance, the tech-savvy blogger can very easily link to the news report they got their information from. Lo and behold, someone would likely be interested in reading the 'original' material, click, read, boom. Another reader. The same can be done with televised news stories, I'm sure; YouTube and the wonders of 'free' information. By having an opinion, a blogger is helping boost the reader/viewership of news, because most intelligent people won't just take the blogger's opinion for salt. Then, and only then, can you have discourse in the blogosphere.
Long story short, blogs don't really give you anything more than a reiteration of news stories from somewhere else with an added bonus of some nameless Joe's two cents on the matter. Think of it as a more rapid, uncensored version of your basic Letters to the Editor. In the end, that's just what it is.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Poindextra
Know what I think? It's bullshit.
Blogs can be about current events, sure. But allow me to point out the flaws in this system, that are just as pertinent as those pertaining to the media, yet largely overlooked.
Firstly, you've got the spectrum of crazy-hardcore-conservative to people who are so left wing they're coming back around to the right. Sure, they don't have the media bias per se, but they sure as hell have their own two cents about the issue, because if they didn't, it'd be pretty useless to talk about it.
Secondly, where did they first hear about this issue? Mr. Holmes, you've found a clue! If they have an opinion on the matter, and they weren't there first, they clearly got the idea from somewhere. Even this post is inspired by something I read somewhere else. That original source, which, for all intents and purposes, we will call a primary source, is the basis of the secondary blog post, meaning anything they gleaned from the accounts of a news reporter/journalist/scrapbook/photo album of the person who discovered this before.
Is it taking away from the news media? Nope. If anything, it's probably helping bolster news media events. If you consider that a blog entry can be a response to an article in a newspaper, for instance, the tech-savvy blogger can very easily link to the news report they got their information from. Lo and behold, someone would likely be interested in reading the 'original' material, click, read, boom. Another reader. The same can be done with televised news stories, I'm sure; YouTube and the wonders of 'free' information. By having an opinion, a blogger is helping boost the reader/viewership of news, because most intelligent people won't just take the blogger's opinion for salt. Then, and only then, can you have discourse in the blogosphere.
Long story short, blogs don't really give you anything more than a reiteration of news stories from somewhere else with an added bonus of some nameless Joe's two cents on the matter. Think of it as a more rapid, uncensored version of your basic Letters to the Editor. In the end, that's just what it is.
Peace, Love, and MarioKart
~Poindextra
Friday, September 19, 2008
RCN 18186-H
I keep you close to my heart, always.
It's not the same without you, and it never will be. Words cannot describe how much I miss having you in my life, through the good times and the bad. You were always there for me, no matter what you had going on. You never criticised my tears, or called me names, or put me down.
Your humour was your way of showing how much I meant to you. And my retorts were my way of saying I wanted to grow up to be the person you became as my grandfather.
You never denied me the affection and love I didn't get from my father. You never denied me your attention when I needed it. You taught me about yourself, and about what goes on in my own head.
You loved me every day, didn't you? I know I love you, even though we're not together in the same lifetime. But one day, we'll meet again. And I'll run to your arms as fast as I can, and be the happiest little girl in the universe again.
You're still the centre of my world. And I can only hope that you're proud of anything I strive to do, and I know that when I'm down, you're holding my hand and whispering to me that I'll be okay. All I need is time.
I'll never forget you. I promise.
~Sam.
It's not the same without you, and it never will be. Words cannot describe how much I miss having you in my life, through the good times and the bad. You were always there for me, no matter what you had going on. You never criticised my tears, or called me names, or put me down.
Your humour was your way of showing how much I meant to you. And my retorts were my way of saying I wanted to grow up to be the person you became as my grandfather.
You never denied me the affection and love I didn't get from my father. You never denied me your attention when I needed it. You taught me about yourself, and about what goes on in my own head.
You loved me every day, didn't you? I know I love you, even though we're not together in the same lifetime. But one day, we'll meet again. And I'll run to your arms as fast as I can, and be the happiest little girl in the universe again.
You're still the centre of my world. And I can only hope that you're proud of anything I strive to do, and I know that when I'm down, you're holding my hand and whispering to me that I'll be okay. All I need is time.
I'll never forget you. I promise.
~Sam.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Existential Apathy
I get rattled by conversations involving politics. Not sure why.
Something about the gross...intellectual decomposition caused by politics bugs me. What's worse, is it's not even the politicians I can't stand anymore. It's the mouths of the voters that piss me off.
Think about it. You get your basic angry working-class Joe, who listens to the news making negative spin after negative spin on ye olde politician. And all this little Joe will do is bitch and moan over how terrible the world is growing to be. And after someone says "Why don't you do something about it?" they're met with the redundant response;
There's nothing I can do about it.
It sure as hell feels like there isn't, but I will admit that if someone out there is willing enough, and brass-balled enough to step in front of a mass media source and scream "This world is going to shit, and it's your fault because you're lazy," I'll be right behind them. Fuck, I'd do it myself if I knew where to start.
Maybe I should.
People need to suck up their inadequacies and start thinking about the world around them. Pull the stick out of your ass, and the gauze out of your ears, and listen to your surroundings. Listen to what other people think.
It's damn hard to do, I'm well aware. But it's not a matter of changing the world in a day. Never was. Just make little changes here and there, and watch as the little steps grow into big results. But before any of that can be done, the quintessential foundation needs to be laid;
Pay attention.
There's nothing you can do well with false or incomplete information. And this is the biggest problem being faced today. People will look no further than the information they want to hear, information that validates their opinion and makes them seem smart in the eyes of someone else, if only for that brief stint of a coffee-shop conversation.
Hypocrisy blooms constantly in this day and age. Promises made that will likely never be kept, ideas that are only half-founded and then promptly contradicted or reversed for fear of persecution, and ignorant fools sitting behind the television taking every word anyone says at face value. The metaphor is losing its flair in favour of literalist interpretations. Nobody wants to think for themselves anymore.
This is not the freedom the dead soldiers fought for. This is not the world the Renaissance scholars strived to create.
This is the world where the biota has become robotic. Pre-programmed opinions governed by corporate labels and anger/scare tactics, controlled by the minds everyone's mad at, but too afraid to push against. The human mind is a beautiful thing, and it's being fashioned into little more than it's own egocentric universe.
Sure, we still question everything. But does it count as questioning if it's never going to be heard?
Peace, Love, and MarioKart.
~Poindextra
Something about the gross...intellectual decomposition caused by politics bugs me. What's worse, is it's not even the politicians I can't stand anymore. It's the mouths of the voters that piss me off.
Think about it. You get your basic angry working-class Joe, who listens to the news making negative spin after negative spin on ye olde politician. And all this little Joe will do is bitch and moan over how terrible the world is growing to be. And after someone says "Why don't you do something about it?" they're met with the redundant response;
There's nothing I can do about it.
It sure as hell feels like there isn't, but I will admit that if someone out there is willing enough, and brass-balled enough to step in front of a mass media source and scream "This world is going to shit, and it's your fault because you're lazy," I'll be right behind them. Fuck, I'd do it myself if I knew where to start.
Maybe I should.
People need to suck up their inadequacies and start thinking about the world around them. Pull the stick out of your ass, and the gauze out of your ears, and listen to your surroundings. Listen to what other people think.
It's damn hard to do, I'm well aware. But it's not a matter of changing the world in a day. Never was. Just make little changes here and there, and watch as the little steps grow into big results. But before any of that can be done, the quintessential foundation needs to be laid;
Pay attention.
There's nothing you can do well with false or incomplete information. And this is the biggest problem being faced today. People will look no further than the information they want to hear, information that validates their opinion and makes them seem smart in the eyes of someone else, if only for that brief stint of a coffee-shop conversation.
Hypocrisy blooms constantly in this day and age. Promises made that will likely never be kept, ideas that are only half-founded and then promptly contradicted or reversed for fear of persecution, and ignorant fools sitting behind the television taking every word anyone says at face value. The metaphor is losing its flair in favour of literalist interpretations. Nobody wants to think for themselves anymore.
This is not the freedom the dead soldiers fought for. This is not the world the Renaissance scholars strived to create.
This is the world where the biota has become robotic. Pre-programmed opinions governed by corporate labels and anger/scare tactics, controlled by the minds everyone's mad at, but too afraid to push against. The human mind is a beautiful thing, and it's being fashioned into little more than it's own egocentric universe.
Sure, we still question everything. But does it count as questioning if it's never going to be heard?
Peace, Love, and MarioKart.
~Poindextra
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